Map of America on My Dartboard

8 Oct

I’m taking a BuzzFeed quiz. Where Should You Actually Live?ย 

But I’m asking honestly. Oh great and wise BuzzFeed. Where should I live?

Ari and I want to move out of New York. Our apartment in Washington Heights is insanely expensive. My family has upped and moved to Israel. While I’ve started a road down comedy and performance I’m itching to explore a new scene, a new city. A lot of my friends have moved. To the suburbs. To California. Tel Aviv.

Why not me?

I started working at The Museum of the American Gangster last week. I thought I would only be working a few months before we were out of here. We had given Baltimore a real soft yes for places. We have friends down there, I lived there for a while during college, there’s Jews and a pretty nice improv theater. There’s museums I could work at and it’s not that far from DC or New York. But Ari says that before we commit to buying property we should seriously explore all our options. That means more research and more decisions. I’m not good with decisions. Or rather, I’m too good. I make a decision and that’s it. No going back. Do or die. I chose one seminary, one college, one major, one guy. Sure since then it’s been a windy path with stopovers in What-The-Fuck-Am-I-Doing-Ville but I hate second-guessing. I’d rather just dive in and figure it out on the way down. Ari doesn’t like that. He wants to write pro and cons lists and interview people. Probably a better way of going through life than me who basically makes her life decisions based on dart boards and BuzzFeed quizzes.

Now BuzzFeed wants to know whether I’m an AC or fan person.

Public transportation or Uber?

It wants to know if I need to be within walking distance of Starbucks at all times.

Now BuzzFeed is telling me I should live in New York. Goddamit BuzzFeed! You are so useless I don’t even care that you’re the only news outlet that published the Trump Dossier!

If anyone is reading this and can tell me what to do that would be great. Here’s what I need:

A place where the seasons change.

A city. Either in the city or v close to one.

Kosher food and a liberal Jewish community would be nice.

Honestly, that’s it. Ari works from home and I don’t care where I work as long as I have a stage to perform on at night creating things with interesting and nice and funny people.

So have at.

Comment any ideas or suggestions.

Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

 

 

 

 

One Response to “Map of America on My Dartboard”

  1. Shimon October 8, 2017 at 8:45 am #

    Baltimore checks your boxes pretty nicely, large diverse Jewish community with close access to fun like you said. You could choose to rent for a time if you’re not sure about buying right away since there are both strong renters and buyers markets. There’s definitely kosher food and if nothing else you’ll save some money, meet some new people, and maybe find a new place to call home.

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