Sitting on the Floor eating Pizza at 2 a.m.

Here is some advice from a soon-to-be-bachelor-of-journalism-holder. If you write a really successful blog post that generates some buzz, DEFINITELY take a really long time to get back in the swing of things because:

1. It makes readers miss you, and people REALLY like waiting for things these days. Love it. Can’t get enough.

2. It might make people angry and people LOVE being angry on the internet.

Anyways, one reason I have been on a mini hiatus is because 2 weeks ago my friend Abbey showed up on my doorstep to stay with me and it turns out that when you actually have people to talk to after work, you’re less inclined to talk to yourself on the internet.

So I need to fill you in on things I’ve discovered about Baltimore. People in Baltimore seem to think that they are always part of your conversation. I haven’t noticed this too much in New York (except for that one time I was at Dress Barn with my mom and I mentioned to her that I was allergic to lettuce and this woman turned around to say “No you’re not!” which was a little rude because I definitely WAS allergic to salad for like 2 years.) Also another story about strangers in NY is one time I was in a boutique in the city when a tiny old lady in  giant fur coat came in. She starts going through the clothes on the rack when a cutesy salesgirl came over to her.

“Hi there, can I help you something?” she asked.

The woman kept looking through stuff totally not responding. The girl tried again.

“Hello? Is something you need? Can I help you find something?”

The old woman finally noticed her and looked a little startled before she tilted her head and suspiciously said “What? What do you want?” The salesgirl was taken a back and said “Umm..I just wanted to know…if you needed help finding..something?”

The old lady smiled and said “OH! You’re being friendly. How cute. Hi!” then did a little baby-wave at the woman and then turned her attention back to sifting through dresses.

Also, another time a homeless man chased me down through Penn station to return a tampon that had fallen out of my bag, screaming “MISS! MISS! YOU DROPPED SOMETHING!”

Ugh, I miss New York. What was I talking about?

Oh, right. So, so far in Baltimore, I’ve had people comment on conversations I’ve had with people in stores or cafes. Like I was in Marshall’s with Abbey debating the pros and cons if asymmetrical dresses when a woman turned around to say “I also hate asymmetrical dresses!” and then walked away. I happen to be really bad with these drive-by convos because I have a TERRIBLE reaction time. So I just stare and try to think of a response while the person just keeps walking by. Like I was walking in University of Maryland when this car drove by and the dude went “OWW OWWWW LOOKING GOOD!” and by the time I realized that I wanted to shout back “COMMENTS LIKE THAT MAKE ME FEEL UNSAFE!” the guy was looonnggg gone. So I’ve trained myself to either nod at comments or stick my middle finger up is usually a good go-to response.

I’ve also been a smidge busy because it’s….WEDDING SEASON! Well, not for me but for two of my closest friends for which I have been/will be bridesmaidsing for. Shira and Shimon’s was last week and Joy and Sruli’s is this Thursday.

Now it’s not that weird that my friends are getting married, in the Jewish orthodox world, kids get hitched pretty early. A girl from my high school got married senior year and I remember I overheard her one time complain that she was going to be a wife that only had her learner’s permit. It’s all very surreal.

It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that my friends are like, settling down because it all seems to arbitrary. When you’re younger you kind of all have the same experiences very closely, you all graduate elementary school together, you all have that weird lets-iron-our-bangs-but-leave-the-rest-of-the-hair-curly phase (oh, is that just me?), we all get our licenses at around the same time. And now some people are committing themselves to another person and all sorts of responsibilities like joint checking accounts and other people are eating pizza on their floor at 2 a.m. watching TLC wondering when everyone decided to be real people.

I really want to expand on my thoughts on weddings ‘n things but I just found out that I’m homeless starting Aug. 1st. So BRB.


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